
Grief Will Reshape You
The Question is, Into Who?

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Why I Do This Work
A decade of research. A lifetime of love. A mission born from loss.
Grief shattered my world.
But doing nothing wasn’t an option.
I gave therapy a shot. Some parts helped—but honestly, it felt too clinical. Like someone was reading me a paragraph from a textbook. I didn’t need theory. I needed someone who got it—someone who could meet me in the mess and guide me through it.
At one point, I was so lost, I actually Googled, “how to grieve.”
I didn’t find anything helpful. Just surface-level advice that didn’t touch the depth of what I was feeling.
I’ve been obsessed with personal growth since I was a teenager. I’ve spent decades studying positive psychology, mindfulness, resilience—everything about what makes people tick.
But nothing, and I mean nothing, tested all of that like losing my son.
Everything I thought I knew collapsed. Every insight, every tool, every philosophy I’d collected… brought to its knees.
So I started asking deeper questions:
What helps people actually recover from devastating loss?
Is healing really possible, or do we just learn how to hide the hurt?
What if grief work wasn’t just about surviving—but about becoming?
Can pain like this ever lead to purpose—or is that just something people say?
Could I ever feel fully alive again?
The answer was yes.
But not by going back to who I was.
By becoming someone new—on purpose.
Check out Phil’s TEDx talk
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You’re Not Broken. You’re Grieving.
There’s a difference
Hi! I’m Phil
In July 2015, I was faced with every parent's worst nightmare – I lost my amazing 14-year-old son, Perry, in a tragic accident at sea. His absence left a giant hole in my heart that felt impossible to fill.
I went on this wild journey to rediscover who I was and to attempt to make some sense out of the chaos. I dove headfirst into the depths of grief, stumbling around in the dark, but always holding onto this little spark of hope.
And you know what? Along the way, I stumbled upon some truths that completely flipped the script on how we think about loss. Turns out, we've got more power to shape our own stories than we realize, even in the face of the worst kind of pain.
So, here I am, sharing my journey on these pages, not just for people dealing with grief, but also for anyone who is supporting someone who is. And for anyone out there who needs a glimmer of hope on their healing path.
You didn’t choose this pain.
But you can choose what comes next.